Investing in the Move

This has been the last weekend in the home we built six years ago. When we built it we had no idea we would ever move from it. We figured it would be the home which would see the graduation of all of our kids; the home we would welcome another son into (through adoption).

But Jesus does what Jesus does...

We are in the last stretch of our move. Matt is in AZ for four weeks, coming back only to move us out there with him. We are a week in and I am tired. I have so many details running through my brain.

The moving truck comes on Friday and I think once that has pulled away I will feel like I can breathe a little more. Then we get to move in with my bestie and her family for 2.5 weeks. I am thanking Jesus for that blessing b/c I think it will help pass the time.

The word passion has been rolling around my head and heart these last couple of days. I was challenged when I read "Wisely invest in the only two things that will not die: God and people's souls."

So I have been asking Jesus to search me out... Do I invest in the right things? What am I passionate about? Because, honestly, I don't feel passionate about anything accept maybe myself and what is going on in my day to day. So, I guess that would include my family and friends. And my work family; and my LifeGroup ladies; and my faith family. OK, maybe I do love people. But do I pour myself out enough for them?

Moving makes me wonder if I will leave well. Have I loved enough? Have I brought even one person closer to the presence of Jesus? And then I wonder why I need to know that? Do I seek approval? Do I want recognition? I do tend to struggle with people's opinions having too high a pedestal, but this time around I don't think that is it.

As a Christian I am to be salt and light. And if I leave this place, having lived here for 10 years, and come to find that I was neither of those, what good did that do anyone?
What good is it to know Jesus' living power within me if I don't ever challenge others to tap into that?
What good is it to know shear JOY in the midst of hard times, if I don't tell about it?

For years I have had Colossians 3:15 & 16 on my mirror. "LET the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...LET the message of Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives...."

I feel like Jesus always shouts to me the LET part; like he is screaming His permission not to hide the blessings, not to hide His presence in my life.
I grew up with two parents in the home;
I've never done drugs.
I've never been drunk.
I saved myself for marriage.
I was seen as the "good" girl. Friends in high school would try to pay me to cuss.
I don't have family "disfunction."

Somewhere along the line I started believing this lie that because I didn't grow up with disfunction my voice needed to be silenced or because I chose not to make certain choices, my voice is not valid. Like Jesus can only work through people who come out of obvious junk! Just because my sins are not obvious, doesn't mean I don't need Jesus redemption every day of my life.  Proverbs 16:2 says, "All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit (motives)."

May Jesus do what Jesus does...for all of us.